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Father and Mother Meagles never deserved their names better than when
they took the headstrong foundling…girl into their protection again。
'Oh！ I have been so wretched；' cried Tattycoram； weeping much more；
'always so unhappy； and so repentant！ I was afraid of her from the first
time I saw her。 I knew she had got a power over me through understanding
what was bad in me so well。 It was a madness in me； and she could raise
it whenever she liked。 I used to think； when I got into that state； that
people were all against me because of my first beginning； and the kinder
they were to me； the worse fault I found in them。 I made it out that
they triumphed above me； and that they wanted to make me envy them； when
I know……when I even knew then……that they never thought of such a thing。
And my beautiful young mistress not so happy as she ought to have been；
and I gone away from her！ Such a brute and a wretch as she must think
me！ But you'll say a word to her for me； and ask her to be as forgiving
as you two are？ For I am not so bad as I was；' pleaded Tattycoram； 'I am
bad enough； but not so bad as I was； indeed。 I have had Miss Wade
before me all this time； as if it was my own self grown ripe……turning
everything the wrong way； and twisting all good into evil。 I have had
her before me all this time； finding no pleasure in anything but keeping
me as miserable； suspicious； and tormenting as herself。 Not that she had
much to do； to do that；' cried Tattycoram； in a closing great burst of
distress； 'for I was as bad as bad could be。 I only mean to say； that；
after what I have gone through； I hope I shall never be quite so bad
again； and that I shall get better by very slow degrees。 I'll try very
hard。 I won't stop at five…and…twenty； sir； I'll count five…and…twenty
hundred； five…and…twenty thousand！'
Another opening of the door； and Tattycoram subsided； and Little Dorrit
came in； and Mr Meagles with pride and joy produced the box； and her
gentle face was lighted up with grateful happiness and joy。
The secret was safe now！ She could keep her own part of it from him； he
should never know of her loss； in time to e he should know all that
was of import to himself； but he should never know what concerned her
only。 That was all passed； all forgiven； all forgotten。
'Now； my dear Miss Dorrit；' said Mr Meagles； 'I am a man of business……or
at least was……and I am going to take my measures promptly； in that
character。 Had I better see Arthur to…night？'
'I think not to…night。 I will go to his room and ascertain how he is。
But I think it will be better not to see him to…night。'
'I am much of your opinion； my dear；' said Mr Meagles； 'and therefore
I have not been any nearer to him than this dismal room。 Then I shall
probably not see him for some little time to e。 But I'll explain what
I mean when you e back。'
She left the room。 Mr Meagles； looking through the bars of the window；
saw her pass out of the Lodge below him into the prison…yard。 He said
gently； 'Tattycoram； e to me a moment； my good girl。'
She went up to the window。
'You see that young lady who was here just now……that little； quiet；
fragile figure passing along there； Tatty？ Look。 The people stand out
of the way to let her go by。 The men……see the poor； shabby fellows……pull
off their hats to her quite politely； and now she glides in at that
doorway。 See her； Tattycoram？'
'Yes； sir。'
'I have heard tell； Tatty； that she was once regularly called the child
of this place。 She was born here； and lived here many years。
I can't breathe here。 A doleful place to be born and bred in；
Tattycoram？'
'Yes indeed； sir！'
'If she had constantly thought of herself； and settled with herself that
everybody visited this place upon her； turned it against her； and cast
it at her； she would have led an irritable and probably an useless
existence。 Yet I have heard tell； Tattycoram； that her young life has
been one of active resignation； goodness； and noble service。 Shall I
tell you what I consider those eyes of hers； that were here just now； to
have always looked at； to get that expression？'
'Yes； if you please； sir。'
'Duty； Tattycoram。 Begin it early； and do it well； and there is no
antecedent to it； in any origin or station； that will tell against us
with the Almighty； or with ourselves。'
They remained at the window； Mother joining them and pitying the
prisoners； until she was seen ing back。 She was soon in the room； and
remended that Arthur； whom she had left calm and posed； should not
be visited that night。
'Good！' said Mr Meagles； cheerily。 'I have not a doubt that's best。 I
shall trust my remembrances then； my sweet nurse； in your hands； and I
well know they couldn't be in better。 I am off again to…morrow morning。'
Little Dorrit； surprised； asked him where？
'My dear；' said Mr Meagles； 'I can't live without breathing。 This place
has taken my breath away； and I shall never get it back again until
Arthur is out of this place。'
'How is that a reason for going off again to…morrow morning？'
'You shall understand；' said Mr Meagles。 'To…night we three will put up
at a City Hotel。 To…morrow morning； Mother and Tattycoram will go down
to Twickenham； where Mrs Tickit； sitting attended by Dr Buchan in the
parlour…window； will think them a couple of ghosts； and I shall go
abroad again for Doyce。 We must have Dan here。 Now； I tell you； my love；
it's of no use writing and planning and conditionally speculating upon
this and that and the other； at uncertain intervals and distances； we
must have Doyce here。 I devote myself at daybreak to…morrow morning； to
bringing Doyce here。 It's nothing to me to go and find him。 I'm an old
traveller； and all foreign languages and customs are alike to me……I
never understand anything about any of 'em。 Therefore I can't be put
to any inconvenience。 Go at once I must； it stands to reason； because
I can't live without breathing freely； and I can't breathe freely until
Arthur is out of this Marshalsea。 I am stifled at the present moment；
and have scarcely breath enough to say this much； and to carry this
precious box down…stairs for you。'
They got into the street